Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Light Your Candle

"There are two ways to spread the light. To be the candle or to be the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton"

This quote speaks to me. Just as this song does by Kathy Troccoli.



I was reminded by this by reading Lori's post today. She inspires me. I find inspiration in many things lately. And some days, I just have to share the light. Even if it's just a miniscule glimpse. Other days, (as my friend Melissa has said) I have the rays of light just beaming from my fingertips.

The first time I heard this song, I was in church on a Sunday morning a few years ago and they showed a video with this song. I tell you, I don't remember being so absolutely touched like this during a song/video. And even today, it still stirs within me. So, I just had to share it.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Foggy, Tender Moments

First, let me give you a laugh. I laugh every time I think about this now. I woke up this morning, after a fitfull night. Brian has a tickle in his throat and coughs every twenty seconds. (No, not REALLY. It's more like every minute. But it feels like 20 seconds!) Anyway, we both were laying in bed last night trying to find our precious friend called sleep. I think he even drank some Nyquil to try falling asleep between coughs. After a couple hours of laying there in the bed, Brian got up to move to the couch. How sweet is he?! I kept falling asleep, but would wake up every time he coughed. I don't know if he fell asleep between them or not. He said that he finally slept after 2AM this morning!! WHAAA?! He gets up at 5:30 to go to work!! Poor, poor fellow!!! Now, back to the laugh I promised you! I got up with my alarm and foggily walked to the kitchen to find my loved, adored, (necessary!!!!!) coffee. I got my cup, my lid, my spoon, and my hot chocolate mix. I MUST drink my coffee with hot cocoa. The type I have right now has those mini marshmallows in it. I opened that container and looked it. My first thought was "WHY ARE THERE POPCORN KERNELS IN MY COCOA?!"

Hello!!?? I was so mad at first. I'm immediately thinking "Who in the world would DARE do something like this? I'm just about to lose my cool on these kids!!!" Then I took my spoon and thought "well, I'll just fish out the kernels and make my coffee". Ugh. Just looking back at how quick I was to judge. I am ashamed. But it's just so funny that I "saw" popcorn kernels in my cocoa. I've been using this container for a month now. I should KNOW that there are marshmallows in it!!! I scooped the first scoop in my coffee cup and saw that they were indeed marshmallows - NOT popcorn kernels. Whew. The kids are safe for yet another morning from the monster known as "Decaffinated Mama". Thank you, Lord!!

Now, moving on.....

Some moments are so precious and so tender. I usually have several through the day or week with my boy, Tyler. And this morning held one so dear that I just have to write about it. Especially once I came out of my fog!

Brief look back ... a few weeks ago we were getting alot of rain. I mean, "Where is Noah with that ark - kind of rain!" And so there were LOTS of worms out of the ground. So, whenever we'd leave in the morning, we'd be dodging them, hoping to avoid squishing them walking to the truck. And sweet, tender-hearted Tyler would BEG me to not hit them while driving. This is impossible, seeing as there are a million of them everywhere on the road! So, I made him a deal, I would drive in the center of the road. There seemed to be less in the center. This was only halfway acceptable, but he agreed. The love in his eyes for these earthworms is absolutely amazing!! I mean, they are JUST worms! Right?!

Today, we are making our usual way to school. I am driving my old, faithful route, because I'm just OCD-ish about that. (That's another subject entirely.) And there is a car in front of us, about five or six car lengths away. I saw a young robin swooping in front of that car. Sadly, I didn't see the robin swooping up and away. My immediate reaction was to say "Awww. Oh no." And that, of course, got Tyler's attention. So, he is immediately looking to see what was going on. The poor robin was flailing on the road. What do I do? So, I swerve to miss the poor, flailing, injured bird. I know that my heart is breaking for this bird. But not as half as bad as the young boy next to me. I look over and his face says it all. There is absolute devastation, unabashed sorrow, and pure love.

I began to tear up. I reached out to hold his hand. His expression was … desolate, bleak, depressed, crushed … you get the idea. His reaction added to my despair. Not only did I just witness the entire cruel incident, I caused my sweet boy to witness the dying bird’s attempt to struggle to life, to flight, to safety. Ugh. This was a horrible thing.

As we kept driving along, me holding his hand and fighting for words to comfort him, fighting the tears that are stinging my eyes and begging to be released down my cheeks, I could only squeeze his hand, knowingly. He asked me why we didn’t stop to help the bird. Ugh, again (still), you’re breaking my heart, boy. I explained to him that there was nothing that we could do to help this poor bird.

Where would comfort come from at this point? What can I say or do? To show true compassion to this boy that is so full of love? To comfort this child that doesn't understand how or why this death needed to happen? To validate his feelings? To show him that it's just natural? To not minimize his value of all life for all creatures, but to steer him toward acceptance? To reassure him that this is "just one bird"? To minimize the trauma, the devastation, and absolute horror that he's just witnessed?

As we pulled into the school, I had no words for or about the bird. I could only look into his eyes and tell him that I love him. I gave him a lip-sticky kiss. I rubbed his cheek. I ran my hand along his face. I told him again that I loved him. In his eyes, I see the love reflected back at me. He told me he loved me too. And I knew he'd be okay. He won't forget what he'd seen. But he accepted it quietly and was comforted (I hope) by the fact that I'd allowed him the sorrow. I'd allowed him to feel this loss, and I was at his side in full support.

This reminds me of the time when I was visiting Panama City while 7 months pregnant with Kayla. My granny was driving me down Hwy 98 (Tyndall Parkway) and we rounded the corner headed into Springfield (toward Transmitter - for all you locals). There was a turtle in the road. I begged my granny to PLEASE , please stop so I could move that turtle. She did. She pulled over and just shook her head. I was 19 then. I went back, picked up the turtle and carried it back to the side of the road. I faced him away from the 4-lane road and ran back to the car. She, again, just shook her head. But I was sooo thankful. She showed so much love and compassion JUST by stopping the car for me! I will always be grateful for that!
So, the apple does NOT fall far from the tree. Thank you Lord, again, for your blessings on me! I am truly blessed in so many ways.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Divine Moments

After reading through my older blogs on my myspace page, I found this post from February, 2007.

Okay, now I have been going through this bible study and reading a book called Chasing Daylight - Seize the Power of Every Moment written by Erwin Raphael McManus. I don't have permission to do the following quotes, but I will anyway in the hopes that it will inspire you, as it has me!! (It might read kinda "choppy" because I've taken all my points and thrown them together. You'll get the idea!)

"You cannot live vicariously through someone else's life. We were not created to watch from the sidelines. There is no small life when it is given away, no meaningless moments. You have no control over when or how you die, but you DO have control over how you live! Take responsibility for how you choose to live your life. Be an influence.

When you move with God, he always shows up. He calls us out of comfort into uncertainty. Faith is all about character, trusting in the character of God, being certain in who God is and following Him into the unknown. Divine moments can be fully grasped only when one moment with God is worth to you more than an eternity without Him. We must never underestimate the importance of one moment, one word, one deed in the life of another human being. But to have this kind of influence, you have to let people come close. The most important decisions of our lives will require us to forsake invisibility and risk becoming visible. (Stepping out of your comfort zone!!) Some moments carry within them the capacity to shape a lifetime. The greater that moment's opportunity, the greater the risk required. The moment in which we have the most to gain is also the moment we have the most to surrender. The journey that travels through divine moments is not an escape route from personal suffering. In fact, it strenthens our resolve to suffer in the now for the greater good that can be accomplished.

God uses the challenges we face to shape the character within us. Power without humility is a bad combination. Wealth without generosities is equally dangerous. Freedom without faith and faithfulness will lead only to corruption and death. We are our own worst enemies when our hearts are left unattended.

It is a powerful thing to give yourself away to a higher purpose. There is a healing nature in joining a greater good. When we begin to serve others in His name, we discover that our needs have been met in the process. Each of us has the power to create environments where the broken are made whole. We are all broken vessels with divine capacity. A part of our challenge is to never give up on people. Jesus refused to give up on us.

Take initiative. You know who God is, so embrace life's uncertainty. Remember that the person you are becoming in Jesus Christ is your greatest gift to others, so use your influence. Remember, it just takes one moment to change everything!

To live a prayerless life is to miss the life that God created you to experience. Prayer keeps you in step with God's Spirit and in tune to His voice. Our lives are to be a continuous conversation with God. But prayer can also be an obstacle when we hide behind prayer while the moment needs action. Don't hide behind prayer, take action - hear the command. Seize the moment! Don't let your divine moment slip by as you're making excuses."

My prayer is that I can be an influence to you, my reader. I pray that I will be able to seize my divine moments! And I pray that I will be able to lead by example, to love my neighbor, to be a witness - even without words, to be able to step out of my comfort zone and have faith and most of all, to be able to minister and share the word to my friends and family, along with any others that I encounter daily.

Let me know if how you feel after reading this. And don't forget to say a little prayer for me too.
With Love in Him!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Story of Us...

I was just thinking last night about my next posting topic. About how I should tell my story - with Brian. And today, I got a message from Melissa asking how I met Brian. Well... I figured I'd just tell her the complete story and I might as well tell you too!

While in high school, I got a part time job at a grocery store called Food World (there on Tyndall Parkway for you locals). (It's no longer there by the way.) I was working in the deli making pizzas! I worked there for almost 3 years actually. Anyway, Brian was in the Air Force (in Vehicle Maintenance - a mechanic - put simply), stationed at Tyndall and didn't know anyone or have many people to hang out with (I'm guessing) and he wanted extra money. So, he got a part time job in the DELI at Food World! He started in like February, 1992. (somewhere in there) He worked nights doing general work... slicing meats & cheeses, bagging breads and all that sort of thing. Well, we worked together alot. We talked and talked most of the nights away while trying to work. (I had a boyfriend at the time.) So, one thing led to another ... I broke up with my boyfriend. He'd come up to the store when he had the night off and wait around for me to get off work. We'd hang out in my car or his and talk for a bit, then we'd both head our separate ways. By this time, it was probably mid to late June. In early July, I asked my brother to get an apartment with me. We found a little 2 bedroom apartment in Springfield (right around the corner from Rutherford High School, caddy-corner from Everitt Middle School.) We had so much fun. At least I did. Just having the freedom to be able to do what I wanted. Even though I didn't do ANYTHING that I shouldn't!! (I don't know why!!) And so, Brian would come over and hang out. There were a few times that he slept over on the weekends. Then all of a sudden, he just didn't go back home (to the base apartment). On August 4th, he asked me to marry him. We'd never really talked about it. But I said yes. (Pause here ... I NEVER even considered that this Iowa boy would not make Florida his permanent home!!!! And I'd known people that were stationed at Tyndall for AGES, FOR EVER!! So, it never occured to me that we would leave!!!)

I turned 18 in September. We planned a little courthouse marriage in October. We gathered my Granny, my aunt Glynis, my uncle Gerald, my cousin Sheryl and said our "I do's" outside under an Oak tree. Thankfully Sheryl snapped a few pictures of us so we have that at least. We were married by the clerk, Martha Mason.

Then we got an apartment on Cherry Street. Yes, I left my brother high and dry. I didn't want to, but I was married now. I needed to get out on my own.

We got our orders in April/May, 1993 to go to Okinawa, Japan. Brian could go alone for 2 years or with me for 3 years. He wouldn't leave me, so I agreed to go. This was the first time for alot of things! Leaving home, flying in an airplane, being more than 1 hour away from any family whatsoever! I'd only been up to Tennessee at that point!

We spent 3 years in Okinawa. This is called the Two-Baby Tour. Yep! I had Kayla over there in 1994. Then we came back in 1996 (pregnant), was on leave for about a month or so. Then it was time to report for duty at his next station. That happened to be Darn Grand Forks, North Dakota!!! This Florida Girl was NOT ready for that!! Let me tell you! I was scared to death!! We moved into a duplex on base. It was around July/August I think. So, I had plenty of time to prepare for snow. It snowed before Halloween! Kayla was 2 and I was pregnant with Tyler. He was born on base in February 1997. Brian got out of the Air Force in 1998.

While in Okinawa, I met a girl that felt like my soul mate! Like an exact duplicate of me, my heart and soul. A girl that I instantly felt complete, total comfort with! It was weird! That girl is Rachel. I've since been invited into her family and adopted as her sister. That right there, that invitation. It changed me. It made me whole! I can't explain it! She and Brandon were our almost constant companions! We also met Jeff and Elizabeth there. They were constant companions too. We traveled all over that island tons of times over! Just to say we could and did! The Pineapple Factory was ALMOST a weekly trip! I don't know why. ??

Back to my story now... I do have to mention that while in North Dakota, we lived through the most horrible blizzard (1997) on record to date. And then, if that wasn't enough, lost power for DAYS! With a newborn baby and a 2 1/2 year old!! Not to mention a Florida girl that had NEVER seen snow like this before!! **WHEW** That was a hard one! THEN.. if THAT wasn't enough... later on, when the snow melted, the whole TOWN was flooded! They closed most of the town down completely while people desperately sand-bagged and rushed out of homes and businesses. What a mess!

While in Grand Forks, I had the awesome pleasure of meeting Joe. Joe worked with Brian. He was always invited over to eat, drink and be merry. We would get together and all go out to drink and just have a general good time. Good times and stuff, Man! Good times! I could share lots of memories here about Joe, but I'll get back to my story! Oh, not before I forget to mention Tina. I met Tina by getting a Temp job at Ecolab Pest Elimination. We were packed into a room in cubicles. I happened to get planted next to Tina. One day, I bravely stuck my head out of my cubicle and caught her attention. I said these magical words, "Would you like an Altoid? They're curiously strong mints." That was history. She cracked up! We were instant friends. And we were practically inseperable! So, Brian, me, Tina and Joe (and a crowd of others) would get together and all go out ... and drink. It was fun. Sometimes Joe would call Ecolab to prank us. He'd sometimes have to call 6-7 times to get either me or Tina. Then he would say something completely hilarious and we'd have to try to keep our end of the conversations half-way calm and serious. Then he'd just hang up. It was so funny. That was hilarious, Joe!! Now, I have to get back to the story here....

Brian's dad started the fire protection company and so Brian wanted to come back to Iowa for a guaranteed job. Sprinkler fitters are in his family! Dad, Uncles, Grandpa... it was a calling. :) So, with my heels dug ... I reluctantly agreed to come here - to Iowa. Instead of high-tailing it back to warmer, tropical weather with my family gathered around me!

Now, that is the story of me and Brian, along with Kayla and Tyler. The brief version. Believe it or not! So, see? We are lots of fun. We have potential. We could be hilariously fun to hang out with! So, why do we spend ALL of our time at home... alone?! Hmmm?

And now, I must say I've been fasting and praying for Lori & Ted and little Abenezer! Please say a prayer that they will be able to go bring him home soon!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Random Facts About Me

Random Things you might (or might not) know about me.....

I always wanted Blue eyes. I love the color of my eyes when I wear Teal Green – they turn a greenish brown color. Very nice!

I love orange. Especially the Crayola Crayon color of Red Orange.

I like control.

Silent Night makes me cry.

I love Cucumber Melon things from Bath & Body Works. But too much of the scented stuff makes me break out!

I love, love, love me a Almond Latte (or Amaretto)

Amaretto Sour is a very nice drink! DiSirano Amaretto is the best. (How DO you spell that?!)

I used to bite my nails. I quit.

I like to draw.

I love to watch GemTV. Brooke is my favorite. (Dish Network Ch 226) I don't buy. I just watch. We've nicknamed some of the ladies. One is Frankenstein. Another, Sausage Fingers.

I still do bookkeeping for the Private Investigator.

I love watching Food Network.

I like froggy things. Why?!

I used to collect piggy things. Again, why?!

I like Smurfs. I call my cat (Murphy) Smurfy! He doesn't care.

I LOVE eating a Chicken Bacon Ranch Wrap at Subway.

I drive a stick shift.

My first cars were: 1- Chevy Chevette, 2- Pontiac Phoenix, 3- Ford Mustang GT 5.0 5 speed! It rocked! The Chevette was totaled in a hit & run and in the process totaled two 78 Monte Carlos (NICE!) parked in the guy's driveway. That was my first trip to the ER!

Now I drive a Ford F150 4x4, Color: Black, Windows: Blacker. Nickname: Beast!

I love Fords! I come from a Ford family.

My maiden name is Hungarian. Married name is French.

When I go to the store, I get a buggy. Not a shopping cart.

I used to say "rernt" instead of "ruined" until Brian made fun of me severely. Now, I just say rotten to avoid the whole scenario.

I also say "elst" instead of "else". Thanks, Hannah, for pointing that out. I still say it though.

I like wind chimes.

I love summertime. I like floating in the pool.

I love my flowers and plants. I have about 30 house plants.

I went on a 4-day cruise to Cozumel and Grand Cayman Islands. I hated boats! I hadn't been on a boat in YEARS before that! I worked through the fear! Yay for Me!

My fear is that I'll drown. I'd rather die in my sleep.

I went Deep Sea Fishing a couple years ago. I caught a HUGE grouper! That's hard work!

My life seems to revolve around food! I love going to get Steak and Scallops from Ohana's Steakhouse. (THAT'S my #1 meal!) I love salads from Olive Garden. I love chips & salsa from Carlos Okelly's. I love baked potatoes from Famous Dave's (along with the beef brisket). I love to eat at HuHot Mongolian Stirfry - it's just not really worth it to go to a buffet for me though!!

I lost my passport after my cruise.

I love to bake. I've passed along my passion for cooking/baking to my son. Bless his heart!

More to come later....